Brain Basics T he left side of the brain is all about analysis, problem-solving, and communication. Its highest priority is damage control. Most of our discipleship programs in the church are very left-brain dominant. We have people memorize Bible verses, learn statements about their identity in Christ, and study topics. This is all good, but it only impacts the left side of the brain. The right side of the brain is about relationships. This is where the identity center of the brain is located. My innate sense of identity comes from answering the question, “Who are my people?” We have probably all known guests who have come to the mission, made great strides, and then relapsed when they left because they went back to “their people.” Most folks with addictions don’t see lasting change until their sense of who their people are changes. This right-brain sense of relational identity is far deeper than any left-brain teaching we can offer. Giving people good advice and hoping they choose to do it rarely produces lasting fruit. Help- ing people experience belonging that changes their sense of identity gives them new purpose that creates lasting change. Left-brain discipleship focuses on information and behavior. We want people to learn truth and make good choices. There is nothing wrong with this; it is just woefully incomplete as a model of transformation. Adding accountability to this equation doesn’t make it any more effective. It simply adds shame and fear as motivators. Right-brain discipleship focuses on identity and belonging. We want people to make the transition into seeing King- dom people as their people. When I know who my people are, I know who I am. Heart-Sight O ne of the ways to help people discover their purpose is to help them see the heart God has given them. Too many people define themselves by their failures and malfunc- tions. We want to help those who come to us to see themselves differently. One way to do this is to practice “heart-sight.” We do this when we help people see the good that God has placed in their hearts. To discover what is good about the heart God has given me (or to help someone else with this process), ask a few basic questions: What makes my heart come alive? What do I do that brings relational joy to others? What do I hate to see one person do to another? What habit do I have that I most dislike? The first two questions are meant to help you see that your true identity is rooted in relational joy. We see this in little children. They often love to draw pictures because they know Mom and Dad will be happy to get them. A rela- tional bond is formed as they anticipate the joy that will be shared when they present their gift to their parents. In a similar way, every person has something they desperately want others to receive with joy. We want to know we have something to offer that is good and brings life to people. One of the ways you can help guests find their purpose is to help them discover what brings them joy when they think someone else might gratefully receive what they are offering. The second two questions are nega- tive. Sometimes if you struggle to see what brings joy to others, you can see more clearly where you struggle or what you definitely don’t like to see in other people. Identifying what we don’t like can help us recognize what is truly important to us. For example, my wife does not like to see babies cry when their mothers don’t take care of them properly. It makes her angry. Recognizing this has helped me tell her, “It is like you to care deeply that people are taken care of. You like to be taken care of. You like taking care of other people. And you feel peace when you know that everyone is being cared for.” When I recognize this in her, she feels seen and understood. She also begins to recognize that this is who God made her to be and that she will only find real purpose in life when she is living out of this heart characteristic. When people feel seen and heard they also feel known, which begins to form a sense of belonging with those who make them feel this way. As a group, if you can help guests begin to feel known, they will begin to feel bonded to the group. This also allows you to call out their heart characteristics as incentives for making good choices Ī 34 WWW.AGRM.ORG MAY/JUNE 2018 We have people memorize Bible verses, learn statements about their identity in Christ, and study topics. This is all good, but it only impacts the left side of the brain.